How to choose a boy/girl-friend
I was having a conversation with Cheryl, a fatass who stays near my place my neighbour, where I discussed the drawbacks of getting married to a naggy spouse.
[redacted]
C: Wow, say until like you're going to get married to her.
H: Yeah, I'm 6 years older than you and any relationship goals at this point of my life are long term. Now imagine if you get married to someone who goes "dear don't do this, don't do that, don't cum so fast" I WILL shoot my own ears off.
The conversation steered away from naggy spouses, to my perceived age vs. my actual age peppered with with a large amount of teenage exclamation along the lines of "omg I can't believe you're 24!"
H: At this stage, my idea of 'seeing girlfriend' sitting in the garden in the evening talking, and later dinner with parents. No clubbing, and I aim to buy a house within the next 3 - 4 years.
***
Interestingly enough, I encountered a woman who seemed to be a very active henpecker. Thus began my conversation with Joanna. Joanna is a former client of mine way back from my Nuffnang days, she is also very cute.
H: Wow, I just saw this bitchy looking woman at the bank. One look you know she dominates her husband in the relationship.
J: Isn't this usually the case, one person will dominate the other?
H: Well, I'm sure there's one person in the relationship with a stronger personality but I think outright dominance is just plain mean.
***
Here are some points to prevent / mitigate poor decision making while choosing spouses, with the basic assumption that your spouse is the perfect person.
1. If (s)he nags a little, ask he(r) to stop. Explaining what's wrong with nagging (i.e. its fucking annoying).
1.1. If (s)he doesn't stop, screaming at him/her won't help because its built in them to tell people what to do all their lives. Revel in the fact that they will be excellent JKR foremen, and your marriage will enjoy income via pencen upon his/her retirement.
2. Subject to #1, if (s)he doesn't stop, it's going to get worse after you get married. Bail the fuck out or you'll be living a sad married life, seriously. I've been in a naggy relationship and it wasn't fun because
2.1. If you're free spirited like me, I didn't enjoy being bossed around and I rebelled to show that I could do things my own way. I'm sure she didn't enjoy the fact that I didn't want to listen to her as it went against the basic rules programmed in her. This step is counter-productive, as you'll probably be doing things the wrong way to spite him/her.
2.2. If you're spineless, you'll be living the rest of your life knowing that there'll be someone telling you: (a) how to fly a kite, (b) how much Milo powder to put in your drink, (c) how to take care of your dog, how to be careful when attending a debaucherious house-party.
3.1. Something that most people are aware of already but I'll just state it: you date his/her friends in your relationship.
3.2. Something that most people would never have thought of: In-laws. I'm not saying that anyone's family is bad, but given how each family operates in a different manner, there are bound to be different paradigms. If you think the conflicts are manageable (read: tolerable; NOT mendable), by all means go ahead. If you think that they're a bunch of bad motherfuckers who deserve to die a horrible death, imagine your life with a similar outcome to Pt. 2- 2.2. The only difference is that it'll be the in-laws ruining your life and you probably can't do anything about it.
3.2.1. If you really really really want to spend the rest of your life with him/her, revel in the fact that your parents-in-laws are easily 30 years older than the both of you. Combine that knowledge with statistics on mean life-expectancy available via your local ministries of health, you can revel in the fact that the final x-years will be in-laws free.
3.3. How well does (s)he coexist with your family.
Fire off more points in the comments section.
[redacted]
C: Wow, say until like you're going to get married to her.
H: Yeah, I'm 6 years older than you and any relationship goals at this point of my life are long term. Now imagine if you get married to someone who goes "dear don't do this, don't do that, don't cum so fast" I WILL shoot my own ears off.
The conversation steered away from naggy spouses, to my perceived age vs. my actual age peppered with with a large amount of teenage exclamation along the lines of "omg I can't believe you're 24!"
H: At this stage, my idea of 'seeing girlfriend' sitting in the garden in the evening talking, and later dinner with parents. No clubbing, and I aim to buy a house within the next 3 - 4 years.
Interestingly enough, I encountered a woman who seemed to be a very active henpecker. Thus began my conversation with Joanna. Joanna is a former client of mine way back from my Nuffnang days, she is also very cute.
H: Wow, I just saw this bitchy looking woman at the bank. One look you know she dominates her husband in the relationship.
J: Isn't this usually the case, one person will dominate the other?
H: Well, I'm sure there's one person in the relationship with a stronger personality but I think outright dominance is just plain mean.
Here are some points to prevent / mitigate poor decision making while choosing spouses, with the basic assumption that your spouse is the perfect person.
1. If (s)he nags a little, ask he(r) to stop. Explaining what's wrong with nagging (i.e. its fucking annoying).
1.1. If (s)he doesn't stop, screaming at him/her won't help because its built in them to tell people what to do all their lives. Revel in the fact that they will be excellent JKR foremen, and your marriage will enjoy income via pencen upon his/her retirement.
2. Subject to #1, if (s)he doesn't stop, it's going to get worse after you get married. Bail the fuck out or you'll be living a sad married life, seriously. I've been in a naggy relationship and it wasn't fun because
2.1. If you're free spirited like me, I didn't enjoy being bossed around and I rebelled to show that I could do things my own way. I'm sure she didn't enjoy the fact that I didn't want to listen to her as it went against the basic rules programmed in her. This step is counter-productive, as you'll probably be doing things the wrong way to spite him/her.
2.2. If you're spineless, you'll be living the rest of your life knowing that there'll be someone telling you: (a) how to fly a kite, (b) how much Milo powder to put in your drink, (c) how to take care of your dog, how to be careful when attending a debaucherious house-party.
3.1. Something that most people are aware of already but I'll just state it: you date his/her friends in your relationship.
3.2. Something that most people would never have thought of: In-laws. I'm not saying that anyone's family is bad, but given how each family operates in a different manner, there are bound to be different paradigms. If you think the conflicts are manageable (read: tolerable; NOT mendable), by all means go ahead. If you think that they're a bunch of bad motherfuckers who deserve to die a horrible death, imagine your life with a similar outcome to Pt. 2- 2.2. The only difference is that it'll be the in-laws ruining your life and you probably can't do anything about it.
3.2.1. If you really really really want to spend the rest of your life with him/her, revel in the fact that your parents-in-laws are easily 30 years older than the both of you. Combine that knowledge with statistics on mean life-expectancy available via your local ministries of health, you can revel in the fact that the final x-years will be in-laws free.
3.3. How well does (s)he coexist with your family.
Fire off more points in the comments section.
posted by 陳一豪 at
12:11 AM
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