BBM Conversation with Chris Tock

A little bit of history behind this: Chris and myself call each other 'baby'. In spite of that, I am slightly homophobic.

Me: Baby I'm having bacon+cheese omelette
Him: Ya I know I saw (on twitter)
Me: Are you jealous?
If yes you can come over
I put chicken eggs in your backside then you sit down and you can feel it crack
Then after that I'll eat it when it flows back out.

Something tells me that my mind hasn't recovered from my 2 girls 1 cup adventure, which incidentally I have yet to finish.

Trauma sial.

Boogers

I was having lunch with Royal Gold when I discovered an annoying booger stuck up my right nostril. It wasn't the normal sort of boogers you would nonchalantly discard, but rather it was the flat kind which held on to your nasal hairs like a Jew assigned to Auschwitz. It just simply refused to come out. What made things worse was that it was strategically placed on the roof of the nasal canal, making it harder for me to remove it.

After some forceful and acrobatic digging, I finally removed the offending booger and left it on the floor of McDonalds SS15. The conversation turned to eating boogers when we were younger.

"Eh, you know arr? Earwax is bitter one."

I am liking Royal Gold alot more, really. I think we should start dating or something.